


Of Love, Risottos and Nuclear Dragons

by Kylie



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, First Kiss, Humor, M/M, Romance, Snow White AU, Superman AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 05:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4775405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylie/pseuds/Kylie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Once upon a time there lived a King and his Queen. They ruled over a beautiful kingdom called Krypton. </p><p>They wanted their son to grow up to be a great knight and leader of men, so they named him after an accomplished foreign general - Napoleon.</p><p>His skin was fair as snow, his hair black as ebony and his lips red as blood. So the people gave him another name – Snow White."</p><p>This is a Snow White AU with some Superman elements. Oh and there's a nuclear dragon! And truffle risottos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Love, Risottos and Nuclear Dragons

**Author's Note:**

> This fic would never have happened without TerribleArrow. We were really high on virtual truffles (since we can't afford real ones) and this idea bit us and just wouldn't let go! And then we kept talking about it for two weeks while I was writing. Equally loud and crazy excitement is the best support you can imagine. And of course helping to steer the story in the right direction. Thank you!

Once upon a time there lived a King and his Queen. They ruled over a beautiful kingdom called Krypton. Their reign was just and fair, their land was wealthy and the soil gave plenty of crops to feed the people. The Kryptonians were happy and loved their monarchs. They liked to sing and dance and hold parties.

And one day the kingdom held the greatest ball its people had ever seen. Well, it had to be the best for it was to celebrate the birth of the King and Queen's first son and heir.

The King ordered all the best delicacies prepared for the feast, including the kingdom's main specialty - truffle risotto. Every man, woman and child was invited and people sang and danced for a whole week. 

But what about the baby prince himself? The King and Queen were overjoyed at the arrival of such a strong and healthy son. They wanted him to grow up to be a great knight and leader of men, so they named him after an accomplished foreign general - Napoleon.

But when the King and Queen showed their son to the people gathered at the feast, everyone could see how beautiful the boy was. His skin fair as snow, his hair black as ebony and his lips red as blood. So the people gave him another name – Snow White.

***

Napoleon Snow White was growing up strong, kind and beautiful, and beloved by all. His father taught him how to fight like a real knight of Krypton and his mother taught him how to make everyone's favorite truffle risottos. While the maidens of the court taught him how to dance, and the kitchen boys taught him how to steal cookies when he was supposed to be eating healthy. The prince's nanny knitted him a sweater he loved and wore everywhere, it had a big 'S' on the front for Snow White.

Life was good for the prince and the whole kingdom sang and danced to their hearts' delight. It seemed this happiness would never end. 

But it was not to be, for even in fairy tales such joyful days never last forever. One day the Queen went on a geological survey to the mountains (she had been a scientist before marrying into the royal family). And during their dig her party came upon an unknown mineral. It was a green crystallized sample and as soon as the first scientist took it in his hands he collapsed, choking. The others tried to help him, but soon started feeling the effects of the crystal themselves. They tried to run, but could not force their feet to move. And just minutes later most of the science party was dead, including the Queen. Her last thought was of her dear husband and of her beautiful son Napoleon. 

Only one of the scientists survived, he in fact remained completely unaffected by the mysterious green crystal. The young man was a foreigner on a science exchange to Krypton. Using his analytical mind he figured out that the effects of the mineral were limited to native Kryptonians alone.

The exchange student went back to the palace and reported all that had transpired to the King. The whole kingdom was grief-stricken. Everyone loved their smart and kind Queen dearly. 

A party of foreigners living in Krypton was sent with the exchange student to retrieve the bodies. 

All the land wept. It was days before little Napoleon stopped crying. The King screamed at the heavens for the injustice of his beloved Queen's death. And when he had screamed himself hoarse, he gathered the party of foreigners again and ordered them to go back to the mountains and destroy the crystal.

They tried everything: hitting it repeatedly with a hammer, melting it in a fire and even attempting to blow it up with some fancy new gunpowder the King had given them. But nothing worked. Then the King ordered them to hide the crystal, which he named Kryptonite, in a secret cave in the mountains, its location to be kept from everyone but the King and his closest advisors.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Napoleon grieved and to deal with the grief he spent most of his days in the kitchens cooking those truffle risottos his mother had taught him how to make. That way the boy felt connected to her. He then gave out the food to the people in the local village. 

He was using up so many truffles that he eventually had to ask the villagers to give him a little piglet, which he could train to sniff out more truffles. Some villagers thought Napoleon's obsession was going a bit too far, but could not say no to those imploring blue eyes. 

So from then on prince Snow White was often seen walking in the woods with his little truffle hog, singing as he went. 

But soon the King became concerned for his son, whose behavior was really getting out of hand. He was either singing in the woods with a pig or shut up in the kitchens. The King thought long and hard about what to do and came up with an innovative decision - let someone else deal with it. Namely he decided to marry again. He hoped the new stepmother could at least teach Napoleon some other hobbies.

He sought throughout the land of Krypton, yet found no one he wanted to marry. But one day a beautiful duchess arrived at court. She was tall and golden-haired and looked down on everyone (both figuratively and literally). The King fell in love at once. And soon Krypton had a new queen - Victoria.

At first she tried to appear kindly and good and even a little humble. She supported local charities and welcomed the villagers into the palace. But in fact her only joy was sitting in front of the mirror in her room trying out new jewelry and admiring her looks. She was apparently heard whispering to the mirror as well. But at first no one in the palace really begrudged a beautiful woman time at her dressing table. Well, that was before they knew her better. As to Napoleon, the relationship was doomed from the start.

"My little Napoleon," queen Victoria said as she came into the kitchens soon after her wedding. 

"Only my mother called me that!" the boy snapped rather impolitely despite his good upbringing. 

The new queen gritted her teeth and tried again, "Why don't you come out to polish some jewelry with me, it's very enjoyable and will be a change from the smell of feet you've got going here."

"I'll stay. Thank you," Napoleon added belatedly, remembering some of his manners.

Victoria left in a huff. She didn't care at all about Napoleon, but the King expected her to take an interest, so she was really annoyed that the boy wasn't cooperating. She went straight to the King.

"My darling," Victoria said in a honeyed voice, "I'm afraid all this cooking has scrambled the poor prince's brain. He must be inhaling a lot of spices down there. Very unhealthy. You must forbid him from ever cooking again."

Poor prince Snow White was devastated, when his father followed his new queen's advice. He cried himself to sleep that night hugging his pet pig. But worse times were yet to come.

Not long after the King remarried, a terrifying rumor came from the outskirts of Krypton. A nuclear dragon was terrorizing the land! No one in the kingdom had ever seen one of this monstrous breed, but mere mention of it used to put anyone in a cold sweat. 

The King, who was of course the protector of his people, put on his sturdiest armor, gathered his best warriors, kissed Victoria and Napoleon goodbye, and rode off to the border. 

That was the last time Napoleon had seen his father. The King was a great warrior and he managed to defeat and slay the dragon, but the venom dripping from the creature's teeth burned through the King's armor and once it touched his skin, there was no chance. His warriors mourned the King and admired his bravery. But one man, who had come to Krypton as part of Victoria's court sneaked out to explore the dragon's lair. And there he found an egg, a most dangerous egg imaginable - the egg of a nuclear dragon. The man hid it in his saddlebag and took it back to the palace.

***

Poor little Napoleon, poor poor prince Snow White. He was an orphan now, with no one to protect him from the evil stepmother who hated him. At the news of the King's death queen Victoria showed all proper signs of mourning, she wept and dressed in black and neither sang nor danced. But her black heart rejoiced. And soon the queen's true colors were revealed. She was the sole official ruler now before Napoleon came of age, and she abused her power terribly, taxing the people more and more and appointing corrupt officials. She ordered Napoleon to stay in his room and never come into her presence, telling the kingdom that the death of his father had completely broken the boy's spirit. 

She spent all the people's money on lavish parties and expensive jewelry. As you remember, her favorite pastime was sitting in front of the mirror. She would ask her mirror (it was a magic mirror, you see): "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

"You, my queen, are fairest of all," the mirror would answer. And Victoria would laugh and flick her hair and pose in front of the mirror, delighted by the answer. 

That was all admittedly pretty sinister. But that wasn't the queen's only terrible secret.

Her other terrible secret was the egg of the nuclear dragon! After the King's death Victoria's servant brought her the egg and she hid it in a vault beneath the palace, which only she and her servant had access to. 

"Uncle Rudi," she said to the servant. He wasn't actually her uncle, but he was a little odd and liked to be addressed like that. "If we manage to hatch our very own nuclear dragon and then train it to obey me in everything, the world would fall at my feet!" she cackled delightedly at the thought. 

But the eggs of nuclear dragons are delicate things, and despite keeping it warm and sheltered neither Victoria nor Uncle Rudi had yet come up with a way to make it hatch.

So for now the evil queen had to focus on the land of Krypton and terrorize it to her heart's delight. The years went by, the queen got richer and more totalitarian, the people grew poorer and more oppressed and prince Snow White was confined to the palace with only his pet pig Piglet for company. 

***

One day queen Victoria sat down in front of her magic mirror, stroked it tenderly with her neatly manicured fingers and addresses it lovingly.

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

She lifted her chin, looked at herself a little sideways, as she considered that her most favorable angle, and prepared to listen to the familiar reply.

In its shadowy mysterious voice the mirror spoke. "You, my queen, are fair, it's true. But Snow White is fairer than you."

In an instant Victoria's playful expression changed into one of fury. She flew to her feet. "You nasty lying glass!" She shrieked. "That boy, fairer than me? Preposterous!"

After pacing and yelling in this manner for the next few minutes, the queen settled back before the mirror. "Tell me, you piece of junk, how is it possible that he turned more beautiful than me overnight, huh?"

"Prince Napoleon is eighteen years old today. So we are now allowed to appreciate his manly attractions," the mirror's mystical tones did not change, as it relayed its logic. 

Victoria considered this in cold fury. No one was allowed to be more beautiful than her. She hadn't really set eyes on Napoleon in years, had he in fact grown to be so fair? She had to go and see him. At once!

Victoria sprinted up the stairs and along the corridor, the skirts of her black and white dress flying behind her, until she ground to a halt at the prince's door. She knocked. "Please, come in," came a soft voice from behind the door.

Victoria entered. And there he was, rising to greet her in surprise. A tall and handsome young prince, his skin fair as snow, his hair black as coal, his lips red as blood. Just like before, but enhanced to perfection by the years, mellowed by solitude and humbled by neglect. Victoria stared. 

Napoleon's expression changed suddenly from shock to delight. "Oh, stepmother, you remembered my birthday!" he exclaimed.

"Um, yes, um, Snow White," Victoria stuttered. "Yes, happy birthday, dear. Many happy returns and all that. Really got to go, though. See you around." And she fled his room, leaving the birthday boy entirely confused. 

Victoria ran back to her quarters and summoned her trusted servant.

"Uncle Rudi, I must entrust you with a mission of utmost importance," she said.

"Yes, your majesty, I am yours to command." 

"You must kill Prince Snow White." Victoria said. For that was exactly what she decided Napoleon's fate would be. She ordered Uncle Rudi to take the prince to the woods and there kill him in cold blood. The evil queen would not allow anyone to be more beautiful than her. 

Her cruel servant grinned, "I'd be delighted, my queen."

That day Napoleon sneaked out to the kitchens where the cook and the servants sang him 'Happy Birthday' and gave him a plate of truffle risotto they had secretly prepared just for him. The prince smiled and thanked them, he was very happy. He remembered the queen's morning visit and, although quite odd, it made him happy too. Maybe his stepmother had finally decided to abandon her dislike for him.

Napoleon became sure of that when in the evening his stepmother's trusted servant knocked on his bedroom door and said that there was a surprise waiting for the prince in the woods. If Napoleon would just follow him, there's a good boy.

"Are we there yet, Uncle Rudi?" the prince asked excitedly. They were walking through the dark forest, the only light that of Uncle Rudi's lantern. Napoleon had put on a nice blue shirt that matched his eyes and a warm red cape that matched his lips. He was expecting a surprise party, you see. But as they walked on and on through the dark forest, Napoleon was starting to get cold and a little nervous. "Uncle Rudi," he asked again, quieter this time, "are we there yet?"

"Almost," said Uncle Rudi and hid an evil grin. "Go stand by that tree and close your eyes."

Napoleon did as he was told. He now started thinking about the surprise party again and how everyone was going to jump out from behind the trees with lights and presents.

He was very excited and listened to every little sound in the woods around him. Then he heard movement very close. He couldn't help it, he just wanted to see his party so much already. Napoleon opened his eyes. 

And saw a dagger headed straight for his heart. He ducked before he could really process what was happening and as he rolled away from the tree, he could see Uncle Rudi holding up the knife. 

"Uncle Rudi!" Napoleon cried as he backed away from him. "What are you doing, where is the party?"

"What party?" Uncle Rudi frowned. "I am to kill you on the queen's orders. So stand still and let me do it."

Napoleon had learned to obey his stepmother in everything, but these orders gave him pause. Victoria hadn't warmed up to him, in fact their relationship had pretty much reached freezing point. She had ordered him killed. But Napoleon was only eighteen, he had so many hopes and dreams, he had never even been in love. No, he decided, he couldn't die yet. He turned tail and ran. 

Uncle Rudi was shocked by such blatant disobedience for a few seconds and then scrambled after him. The queen had ordered him to bring back the prince's heart as evidence and Uncle Rudi intended to get it. 

It didn't even occur to Napoleon to try and fight the queen's servant, it's been years since his father's lessons in knighthood, so he ran deeper into the woods with Uncle Rudi hot on his heels. 

Napoleon stumbled on ahead blindly through the undergrowth in total darkness (the only lantern was in Uncle Rudi's hand), until he collided face first with something huge, hot and moving. It was definitely not a tree, but Napoleon had no time to find out what it was, as he ducked and swerved on ahead into the darkness.

He ran and ran and ran until he could run no more. The exhausted prince slumped against a tree trunk and listened. He could hear the rustling of leaves and the sounds of insects trying to get to his fair skin and bite him, but no one seemed to be following him. Napoleon gathered his red cape tighter against himself to stave off the chill and the insects and thought about what he was supposed to do now.

He had nowhere to go. He couldn't go back to the palace, Victoria would just order him killed right there. Tears fell from Snow White's big blue eyes and he could do nothing to stop them. 

But if he didn't intend to give the evil queen the satisfaction of being bitten to death by mosquitoes, he had to get moving. Napoleon stood up and walked on ahead with no sense of direction or purpose, he was already an orphan and now he was homeless too. He knew it wasn't right to wallow in self-pity, but he couldn't really help it. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve such a cruel fate, and so he walked and cried until the sun came up. 

***

But let's get back to what happened in the forest after Snow White made his escape from Uncle Rudi and his dagger.

Uncle Rudi ran after the prince, his lantern giving advantage in the chase. He was gaining on Napoleon, when suddenly a huge brown horse jumped out of the shadows. Uncle Rudi leapt back in shock, his lantern fell to the ground and for a minute chaos reigned. There was some kicking and neighing and rustling. Someone spoke in a language Uncle Rudi didn’t understand.

Finally Uncle Rudi managed to recover his lantern and hold it up. He saw the same tall brown horse, which had caused all the confusion. Upon the horse sat a tall stern-faced rider with broad shoulders, dressed in rich clothes as far as Uncle Rudi could see in the dim flickering light. He was holding a sword. 

"Reveal who you are or be skewered by my blade!" the stranger demanded in a heavily accented voice.

Uncle Rudi stumbled back and held up his hands. Snow White was escaping, he needed to get to him! But there seemed to be no way to circle around the horseman. 

"Do you understand me, peasant?" the stranger addressed Uncle Rudi again and pointed his sword at the servant's heart.

"I'll tell you everything!" Uncle Rudy cried. "Don't kill me please!"

"Ah, you speak!" the horseman said happily. "Tell me who you are and what this place is." He lowered his sword but did not sheathe it.

"My name is Uncle Rudi," the servant said quickly. "Welcome to the land of Krypton, the realm of fair queen Victoria. I am her trusted servant."

"Whose uncle?" the stranger sounded angry and held his sword a little higher, he really hated people being vague.

"No one's, good sir!" cried Uncle Rudi, he was really scared now. "It's just my name."

"They said foreign countries would be confusing," the horseman murmured and lowered his sword again. "I am tsarevich Illya from the Land Beyond the Iron Curtain."

"Tsarevich?" Uncle Rudi asked. That was a word he had never heard before.

"Indeed. I am the son of the Tsar, the ruler of our land," tsarevich Illya said.

A foreign dignitary was the last person Uncle Rudi wanted to see now, but in order to promote international relations he had to take this prince from the Curtain to Victoria's court.

"Something bumped into my horse before," tsarevich Illya said frowning. "What are you actually doing in the woods at night?"

With a sinking heart Uncle Rudi realized there was no way for him to continue his chase. Snow White had by now disappeared into the darkness of the woods and the servant's only hope was that hungry wolves would get him. 

This tsarevich had inadvertently helped Snow White escape and that made Uncle Rudi furious. But the foreigner was big and armed. There was no way for Uncle Rudi to fight him and win. And it must be said that Uncle Rudi was really a coward, otherwise he wouldn't have tried to stab Napoleon in the dark with his eyes closed. 

"Hunting," Uncle Rudi answered. He still needed a heart to present to Victoria, he was too scared of her to tell her the truth of his failure.

"Strange customs indeed," tsarevich Illya mused. "In my country we hunt when the sun is up."

But before Uncle Rudi had a chance to come up with a reply, a big pink pig appeared from behind the trees oinking loudly. Such luck, thought Uncle Rudy, the heart of a pig would be the best substitute for the heart of a man. "Catch it! Catch it!" cried Uncle Rudi.

The tsarevich proved to have really good reflexes because a moment later he dived from his horse and tackled the pig to the ground. Uncle Rudi brandished his dagger. "Hold it, I'll kill it." 

But instead of obeying the tsarevich shifted his hold on the pig and examined something around its neck. "No no!" he said. "You can't do it. It's not a wild pig for hunting, it's someone's pet pig. There is a tag around its throat. It's too dark to be sure, but I think it says Piglet." He released the pig, which promptly scrambled away into the woods shrieking.

Uncle Rudy had no luck that night. He bid the foreign prince follow him to queen Victoria's palace, frantically thinking up and discarding lies to tell her about what happened to Napoleon.

***

By midmorning Napoleon was so tired, hungry and cold that he had no strength left for tears. He had been trudging through the woods the whole night, not daring to stop.

He thought he must be lost and walking in circles, he thought Uncle Rudi was still after him, he thought hungry wolves were hunting him. Yet no trouble actually befell him that night. 

What felt like days later, but was in fact several hours, Napoleon finally saw a clearing up ahead. He stumbled out of the trees and there in the clearing stood a house!

With no thought for caution Napoleon ran to the low sturdy structure and knocked on the door. His heart was pounding in his chest. Despite all his troubles his faith in humanity remained undiminished. He thought the people in the house would give him food and shelter and he was looking forward to it very much. But as minutes went by with no answer, despair started settling back over the poor fugitive prince. Would no one help him? 

Still Napoleon was inherently an optimist, so in the end he decided that the owners of the house weren't just being mean and deliberately hiding. He decided they were simply out, but had they been in they would surely have offered him some dinner and a bed to sleep in. Since they weren't home, though, Napoleon was sure they wouldn't begrudge him if he helped himself. Those cookie-stealing skills from his childhood came in handy now, as he unclasped the brooch holding his shirt collar together and used the pin to pick the lock.

The house was quite large and it seemed like a lot of people lived there, there were a lot of beds. Napoleon's exploration however came to a halt when he reached the nearest one and collapsed upon it.

He was woken up an hour later by someone breathing in his face. He opened his eyes and saw that it was his Piglet.

"Piglet!" Napoleon cried happily. "You came after me! I thought I'd never see you again." And he hugged his pet.

Piglet had been following Napoleon's scent in the woods, but got sidetracked by some truffles, so it came to the house a little later, Napoleon had been so exhausted he forgot to close the door. 

Napoleon was still really tired, but now that Piglet had woken him up he realized he was also really hungry. He got up and went to explore the kitchen. It was cluttered and pretty dirty, but there was plenty of food. Contrary to popular misconception, truffle risottos weren't the only thing Napoleon's mother had taught him how to cook. So he decided to make a stew and bake some bread. But he was used to cooking in a clean kitchen, so he cleaned everything up first. Then he prepared the dough and the stew and put the bread into the oven and the stew over the fire. He made a really big pot, he had counted seven beds in the house earlier. While the food was cooking, Napoleon decided to clean the rest of the house. That's the only thing he could do for his no doubt lovely if unwitting hosts. 

Napoleon had just put away the broom and taken the pot of stew off the fire and the bread out of the oven when he heard loud voices at the door.

"Why is the door unlocked?"

"Did you forget to lock it?"

"Someone was here!"

"Why is it so clean?"

"Hello," Napoleon said as he came out of the kitchen.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at him. These were men and women of different ages all dressed in similar dark greasy overalls. 

"Who are you?"

"What are you doing here?"

Everyone started talking at once and Napoleon shied back, feeling a little self-conscious. 

But then a short figure pushed forward, shushing everyone else. It was a young slender girl, a brown scarf holding back her dark hair. She was clearly the group's leader. 

"Hey, are you making yourself comfortable in our house? Now tell us who you are and what you're doing here!" she demanded none too politely.

"I am..." Napoleon stalled. Should he say he's the prince? Did the evil queen order the whole kingdom to find him and bring him back? "I'm Snow White," he said and hoped his nickname wasn't too well known so far away from the palace. "I got lost in the woods, can I please stay with you for a little bit?"

"Hey, what's that smell?" one of the people asked and everyone ran into the kitchen.

"There's food!"

"It smells great!"

"Did he make it?"

"Can we eat now?"

"Did you make dinner and clean the house?" the girl asked.

"Yes," Napoleon said shyly. 

"I'm starving. Let's eat and then we'll decide what to do," she said and they all went to set the table and were about to sit down, when Napoleon said: "You should all go and wash up before dinner, your overalls are greasy and so are your hands."

The group grumbled but obeyed. When they were all a little cleaner they finally sat down to eat. The food was delicious and everyone thanked Snow White. 

They told him they were mechanics and had a shop in the nearby mountains, where they did everything from mending carts to making armor. 

"I'm Chop Shop Girl," their leader introduced herself. "And these are Contessa, Beckham, Agent Jones, Sexy Hotel Girl and Captain Smith.  
That's Waverly," she indicated a jovial older man at the other end of the table. "He's the smartest."

They all were so impressed by dinner as well as by Napoleon's sweet manner and good looks that they invited him to stay as long as he liked. They even welcomed Piglet. 

That's how Snow White started living with the mechanics in their house. He cooked and cleaned while they were at work, and in the evenings they all gathered at the table or in front of the fireplace and told stories and sang songs. Napoleon’s only disappointment was that there were no truffles in this part of the woods.

All of the mechanics were growing fonder and fonder of Snow White as the days went by and loved spending time with him.

"Come with me, darling," Contessa would say. "I'll show you how to forge beautiful gold bracelets. They would look lovely on you."

"Come with me, dear Snow White," Beckham would say. "I'll teach you how to play football, I used to play professionally. It's a very exciting game."

"Come with me, gorgeous," Agent Jones would say. "I'll show you how to drive my really big truck. Driving a truck is a very useful skill to have."

"Come with me, precious Snow White," Sexy Hotel Girl would say. "Just for five minutes, I'll show you so many lovely things to do in five minutes."

"Come with me, sweet thing," Captain Smith would say. "I'll teach you how to sail a ship. Nothing can compare to the feeling of the breeze in your hair and drops of water on your skin."

"Come with me, Snow White," Chop Shop Girl would say. "I've brewed some great whisky. We can have a few glasses and dance."

"Come with me, Snow White," Waverly would say. "When was the last time you sparred? We'll make you some nice sturdy armor and you and I will work on your knightly skills."

Napoleon would just blush at all the attention (it looked very beautiful on his fair skin) and say he still had some chores left.

The mechanics actually did forge Napoleon that armor and Waverly proceeded to run him through knight training, which Napoleon really enjoyed. But it also made him sad, because it reminded him of his father and his happy childhood. The mechanics said every knight needed some kind of crest, so they drew a big 'S' on his shield for Snow White. This cheered him up.

One day Chop Shop Girl and Beckham took Napoleon to the nearby village with them. That’s where he saw first hand how life in Krypton had changed under queen Victoria's rule. Once well-to-do Kryptonians, who’d spent their days singing and dancing, were now starving and suffering. That made Napoleon really sad. He was very quiet when they came home. And when the mechanics asked him what had made him so sad, he at last confided in them and told them who he really was and how he had run away from the queen who tried to kill him.

"Prince Napoleon, yes," Waverly smiled slyly. "I have always known of course." Well, he was the smartest.

The others cheered and said they'd help Napoleon take back the throne. He had never wanted to be king, but now having seen the people's suffering, he really considered it for the first time.

***

But you are no doubt wondering what happened to that handsome tsarevich Illya.

Uncle Rudi took him to the palace and he met queen Victoria that very night. She was very impressed. The tsarevich was very tall, had broad shoulders and sculpted muscles. He was also blond and blue-eyed and very elegant in his foreign garb.

He told Victoria that he was traveling the world to bring his father's greetings to neighboring countries and establish diplomatic relations. 

Apparently the Iron Curtain that gave his kingdom its name had just recently been lifted after several decades. 

"It was deemed that danger had passed," tsarevich Illya explained. "And so I was sent by my father the Tsar with an embassy to our neighbors."

"All alone, to face all the dangers of the world!" Victoria gasped and fluttered her eyelashes.

"It's also a character-building journey for me," Illya explained. "I only just turned eighteen last month, so I must now prove my worth as a brave knight on this quest."

"How incredibly exciting!" Victoria said. "You must stay at our palace as our honored guest."

"I'd be delighted, your majesty," Illya bowed, thinking that things in this kingdom had gone off to a really good start.

When he retired to the rooms Victoria had given him, she turned to Uncle Rudi.

"Well, is he dead?" she asked eagerly, meaning Snow White, of course.

Uncle Rudi went cold, he had to make his lie convincing, "Yes, your majesty."

"Where is his heart?"

"I'm afraid I don't have it, my queen," Uncle Rudi stuttered. "I cut his throat but then wolves appeared and dragged the body away. I had no chance to follow them, as it was then that I met the tsarevich."

Victoria fumed at being denied the prize of Napoleon's heart on a platter. But the main thing was that he was dead and she was the fairest once again. And a handsome foreign prince was visiting. She sent Uncle Rudi away and went to bed content with the world.

***

Illya was having a good time in Krypton. The queen held a huge feast to welcome him, and smaller ones in the following days. She also took him riding and hunting. Queen Victoria was very nice to him, and Illya only felt slightly uncomfortable when she took him on nightly strolls through the garden and clung to his arm. He listened sympathetically to her stories about her beloved husband's untimely demise and about how lonely she was, and how she would have liked a strong man by her side. He didn't know why she huffed indignantly when he pointed out that Uncle Rudi seemed like a very trustworthy and reliable person.

Illya also asked Victoria about Prince Napoleon. He fist heard about him from a servant girl, he saw crying a few days after he arrived. Illya had a good heart so he went to comfort her and asked her why she was so sad. Sobbing, she told him that the young prince, the only son of the late King and Queen, had died two days ago on his eighteenth birthday. She said all the servants loved the prince dearly, for he was gentle and kind. Illya found it really sad that such a lovely prince died on his own eighteenth birthday. That made the servant girl sob even harder, so when he asked how it happened he only managed to gather something about drowning in the lake.

Victoria confirmed the servant's story. Prince Napoleon did indeed drown in the lake when he went swimming at night. The fish had managed to get to him before anyone from the palace could, so it was a closed coffin funeral, all very tragic.

The days went peacefully by, though Illya was getting somewhat bored from being in the same place all the time, as well as steadily uncomfortable from the queen monopolizing his attention.

"Your majesty," Illya addressed the queen one morning, two weeks after he came to Krypton. "I believe that diplomatic relations between our two lands are well on their way to being excellent. I think I should move on with my quest and head to the next kingdom."

Victoria looked really disappointed and begged him to reconsider. He declined but agreed to stay for a few more days, so that she could send him off with appropriate aplomb.

Victoria was in fact very angry, she shut herself in her bedroom and fumed. She was the most beautiful woman in the world! And this boy from beyond some stupid Curtain, this insanely hot young prince was completely immune to her charms.

She was fuming in this manner, when there came a knock on her door.

"Go away!" she yelled. "I'm not in the mood for anything."

"But, your majesty, it is I, your humble servant Udo," came from outside the door. "You said I should come at once if I make a breakthrough with the egg."

The queen stopped fuming at once and ran to let her best nuclear dragon scientist in. "Come in, come in, Doctor Udo! Tell me all about it!"

Doctor Udo had been working on ways to make the egg hatch for years now with no success. Nuclear dragon eggs could remain in stasis for decades and only hatch in favorable conditions. But those favorable conditions were yet to be discovered.

"I believe, your majesty, that I have invented a device that would make the egg hatch," Doctor Udo said. "I am calling it an incubator. It would keep the conditions around the egg ideal for hatching. Warmth and humidity, that sort of thing."

Victoria was very excited by the news. "Well, what are you waiting for? Build this device at once!"

Doctor Udo shuffled his feet. "Your majesty, I am a theoretical scientist. I have come up with blueprints for the incubator, but I need a mechanic to actually build it."

"Then find one!" the queen yelled.

"I know there are some mechanics living close to the mountains, but I can't go there, your majesty, please!" Udo begged. "I'd have to go through the woods. What if the wolves get me? No one can read the blueprints but me. I am very valuable."

And that he was. Victoria sent him back to his lab and started thinking. 

Half an hour later she summoned tsarevich Illya. 

"My dear tsarevich," she said. "Would you mind doing a favor for me before you leave Krypton?"

"I'd be happy to help," Illya said.

"Would you go to see the mechanics who live near the mountains and summon one to the palace?" Victoria smiled charmingly.

"Of course, I can do that."

Victoria was delighted. This way she could get herself a mechanic and keep the tsarevich in Krypton a little longer. A few days should give her enough time to come up with the way to make him stay for good. 

She didn't tell him why she needed a mechanic, but offered Illya an escort of the royal guard, which he declined, saying that his character-building quest meant he had to go everywhere alone.

And so Victoria gave him instructions about how to find the mechanics and saw him off at the edge of the woods.

***

All was quiet in the mechanics' house. The sun was shining, the mechanics were away in their workshop, Piglet was sleeping in the back yard and Napoleon was weeding the newly planted vegetable garden.

He was struggling with a particularly virulent weed, when he heard hoofbeats in the distance. He raised his head from the weeds and saw a rider rapidly approaching. Napoleon stared transfixed.

Atop a big brown horse sat a blond young man with broad shoulders covered by a red and gold kaftan like Napoleon had never seen before. The tail and mane of his stallion were flying in the wind. What seemed like mere moments later the rider came to a halt beside Napoleon's vegetable patches. 

Napoleon looked up at the stranger and the stranger looked down at Napoleon. Birds sang in the trees, butterflies flew from flower to flower and grass rustled in the wind.

The rider's horse shook its head and neighed.

"Um, er... greetings," the stranger finally spoke, in a beautifully accented voice. "I come for the mechanics. Are you a mechanic?"

"I'm... er... no," Napoleon stammered, realizing he was kneeling in the dirt, and blushed deeply. He jumped to his feet, attempted to brush off his knees, realized his hands were equally grimy and blushed even deeper if that was possible.

The rider scrambled off his horse. "I am tsarevich Illya from the Kingdom Beyond the Iron Curtain."

The tsarevich was very tall. Napoleon lifted his blue blue eyes to him and said, "Hello."

Tsarevich Illya stared.

"Oh," Napoleon realized he hadn't introduced himself. "I am Snow White," he gave the name he was using among the mechanics. "What's a tsarevich?"

"I think it's the same as prince in this land," Illya said.

"Are you looking for the mechanics?" Napoleon asked. "They'll be back in the evening. You can wait here with me, if you like. I’m their friend. And this is their house."

"Thank you," Illya said, "I'd be delighted."

Napoleon took a moment to change out of his gardening garb and brought out some food for Illya, who had been riding for a long time.

Napoleon asked why Illya needed the mechanics. But Illya said he would have loved to explain and in fact owed complete honesty to such a gracious host, but he had been bidden to deliver his message to the mechanics personally. Napoleon didn't press him. Instead he brought out some tea and chocolate chip cookies, which Illya praised very highly.

Illya told Snow White about his home and the idea of an Iron Curtain fascinated Napoleon. He also told him about his parents - the Tsar and Tsarina. Napoleon told him about the mechanics and the amazing things they could do. Talking about his happy childhood was still too difficult for him and besides he was still wary of admitting to anyone that he was Krypton’s prince.

"I interrupted your work in the garden," Illya said at some point. "Would you like some help there?"

Napoleon looked out the window. "Oh, it's already so late, I haven't realized," he said. "I'll get back to the garden when the sun is up."

The moon was up in the sky now and Napoleon lit a few candles in the kitchen. Their flickering light reflected eerily off Napoleon's pots and pans. 

"Snow White..." Illya started.

"Yes..." Napoleon prompted, locking eyes with Illya.

"I just wanted to say..." Illya took a deep breath and covered Napoleon's hand with his own, "you are very suited to the name."

And that was of course the moment that the door banged open and seven loud voices started yelling greetings to Snow White.

Napoleon blushed profusely and jumped up from the table, Illya quickly pulled his hand away and stood up as well.

The mechanics poured into the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?"

"Who's that?"

"Is he bothering you, Snow White?"

"No no no," Napoleon cried. "In fact he came to speak to you. This is tsarevich Illya, a prince from Beyond the Iron Curtain. Tsarevich Illya, these are the mechanics - Chop Shop Girl, Beckham, Agent Jones, Captain Smith, Sexy Hotel Girl, Contessa and Waverly."

"Very pleased to meet you," Illya said.

"Well, what do you want from us?" Chop Shop Girl came forward and looked Illya up and down. 

"I'm here on behalf of queen Victoria to summon one of you to the palace, where you would build something for her," Illya replied and smiled at Snow White, he was glad to finally stop keeping his errand secret from him.

But Napoleon recoiled, "You're working for the queen!" 

"Yes, but she's your queen, isn't she? The queen of Krypton?" Illya was confused.

"She is evil! She tried to kill me!" cried Napoleon.

"We aren't working for someone who tried to kill our Snow White!" Chop Shop Girl said. "And that's final!"

"But she seems like a nice person," Illya tried. 

"She told her servant to bring me to the woods and kill me with his dagger, but I ran away," Napoleon said. "She's also ruined the country's economy and is starving the people!"

"I gave her my word of honor," Illya said and looked at Napoleon imploringly. "That's not something a tsarevich can go back on."

"We're not going anywhere with you, Maypole!" Chop Shop Girl said and the other mechanics made noises of agreement. "We'll tie you up in the barn and then decide what to do with you."

"No no, you can't do this!" Napoleon was very upset. He really liked Illya, he couldn't let his friends tie him up in the barn. But Illya was working for the evil queen. It was all so complicated.

"Yes, we can," Chop Shop Girl said, "there are eight of us and only one of him!"

"I will defend myself," Illya warned.

But Napoleon realized he couldn't allow this. "It's wrong. Tsarevich Illya is a knight and we have to treat him as such." Napoleon rummaged through a kitchen cabinet and pulled out a blue and red oven mitt. "There!" he threw the mitt to Illya's feet. "I challenge you to a fair fight!"

Illya picked up the mitt and crushed it in his fist, "I accept, because I see you are an honorable knight, but I really don't want to fight you."

"Well, you'll have to, I'm afraid," Napoleon said gruffly. He also didn't want to fight Illya, but it was the right thing to do. 

The mechanics grumbled but lit up some torches outside and cleared a spot for Napoleon and Illya to fight. The opponents took out their swords and shields. Snow White's had an 'S' on it as you remember, and Illya's had a hammer and sickle on a red field. 

They took positions and reluctantly pulled out their swords.

"Begin!" Chop Shop Girl yelled.

Their swords rang as they clashed, torchlight flickered, the mechanics gasped. Napoleon and Illya circled each other and traded blows, which were mostly absorbed by their shields. Napoleon tried not to be distracted by how tall and broad and handsome Illya was, his adrenaline spiking. They were very close, Illya made a grab for him, Napoleon pulled back and swung his sword. Illya's pale blue eyes stared at him with almost savage intent, as he slammed into Napoleon full force. Napoleon staggered back but managed to keep upright. Napoleon's footwork was good, but Illya had a lot more hours of practice under his wide golden belt and he was stronger too. Napoleon lunged at him and their swords clang with the impact, then Illya gathered his strength, threw aside his shield and pushed at Napoleon's sword. Napoleon fell onto his back and Illya used that moment of disorientation to grab his sword out of his hand. He brought the tips of both swords to hover over Napoleon's neck.

"Surrender."

Napoleon nodded, it had been a fair fight. And then the mechanics rushed at Illya. 

Napoleon yelled at them to stop, but the seven of them just jumped at the tsarevich and had him tied up before he could realize what was happening.

"Guys! It's not right! He won!" Napoleon cried.

But the mechanics said that they didn't trust anyone working for the queen, and that if they let this foreign prince go he would just tell Victoria all about Snow White, which would bring assassins to their doorstep. They didn't listen to any of Napoleon's protests and tied Illya to one of the aisle posts in the barn. Then they took Napoleon into the house and told him to stop arguing and go to bed.

***

Illya sat in the mechanics' barn, thick ropes secured his upper body to the post, his hands tied behind his back. It was quite uncomfortable. But he wasn’t really dwelling on that, he was thinking about Snow White. Had queen Victoria really tried to kill him? Why?

Snow White's friends had tied Illya up and held him prisoner, but he just couldn't bring himself to be angry with him. He thought about how he first saw him on his knees in a vegetable patch, his hands dirty and his ivory skin flushed, he thought about how they talked and his attentive blue eyes, he thought about how they fought and his coal black hair in disarray and then Illya thought about Snow White's red lips...

"Illya?"

Illya blinked as the darkness was suddenly illuminated. Snow White crept quietly into the barn. Illya was thankful he only held a small dim lantern, as Illya blushed to see the object of his thoughts suddenly appear before him.

Snow White crouched beside Illya, "I came to talk. The mechanics don't know I'm here. It's not fair what they did, but they are afraid you'll tell the queen about me."

"I don't understand," Illya said. "Queen Victoria can't be that bad, I mean I've been in the palace for two weeks..."

"She tried to kill me and I've seen the starving people," Snow White whispered and put a hand on Illya's shoulder for emphasis.

"I will not tell her about you," Illya said earnestly. He wanted to take the hand lying on his shoulder, but his own hands were tied, instead he pressed his cheek to it.

"I want to trust you," Snow White didn't move away.

"And I want to trust you," Illya said.

Piglet who lived in this very barn smelled the presence of its beloved master and stoop up from its hay bed to come greet him. It oinked happily as it came near the two humans. 

"I know this pig!" Illya exclaimed and Snow White shushed him. "I've seen it in the woods," he whispered, "when I first came to Krypton. Uncle Rudi mistook it for a wild pig and wanted to kill it, but I saw the tag in time."

"You saved my pig from Uncle Rudi?" Snow White asked incredulously.

"I... Yes, I think I did," Illya said.

"How do I know you're not just trying to get into my good graces?" Snow White said suspiciously.

"I'm not!" Illya was indignant. "I'm telling the truth. That night I was riding through the woods and suddenly something bumped into my horse, then there was a bright light and Uncle Rudi appeared with his lantern. We talked and then he yelled that there was a pig, so I tackled it. But then I saw it had a tag, so I let it go, because you can't hunt someone's pet."

Snow White had gone very pale while he was talking. "That was me. I bumped into your horse," his voice shook. "You saved my life. Uncle Rudi was trying to kill me, but I managed to run away when you appeared."

"It was you?" Illya was amazed. 

"But," Snow White frowned, "how can I be sure your story is true?"

Illya thought about it. "The pig! I saw its tag. Your pig's name is Piglet."

"Oh, Illya!" Snow White exclaimed and hugged him. Illya really wanted to hug him back, but the ropes prevented him.

"I really want to hug you back," Illya said.

"Oh!" Snow White pulled back awkwardly, "Sorry!" He produced a kitchen knife from his belt and cut the ropes.

Illya groaned as blood rushed back into his arms. Snow White helped him shrug off the ropes and then gently massaged feeling back into Illya's limbs. "You should go now."

"No," Illya said. He didn't want to leave their spot on the floor of the barn, much less ride back to the palace.

"I'll explain it all to the mechanics later," Snow White insisted. "I'm sure they'll understand eventually, but it's better if you weren't here when I tell them."

They argued in soft whispers for some time, but eventually Illya agreed to go back and see what was going on in the palace.

"Bye," Snow White said, as he brought Illya his horse. He was looking at his feet.

"I'll come back," Illya said. "I just need to figure it all out."

"All right," Snow White said without raising his eyes. So Illya stepped forward and hugged him briefly. That earned him a soft gasp and he finally met those captivating blue eyes. "See you!" Illya promised as he mounted his horse and rode off into the night. 

***

Queen Victoria was in a particularly foul mood when Illya returned to the palace.

"What do you mean, you didn't find the mechanics? How hard can it be?" she shrieked.

She interrogated him about his trip, but he insisted he hadn't met anyone at all, and after searching long and hard decided to turn back.

The queen was enraged at this, but it was in fact something else that put her in that black mood in the first place.

While Illya was away on his mission she finally remembered about her mirror. Now that Snow White was dead, she could again hear the mirror's high praise of her own beauty. She sat in front of it and preened.

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

"You, my queen, are fair, it's true. But Snow White in the house near the mountains is still fairer than you," the mirror replied in its slow chanting manner.

That sent the queen into a frenzy, Uncle Rudi into the dungeon and the whole palace into hiding.

So when Illya failed to bring a mechanic she was already in a murderous mood. She brooded the whole day and then made her decision. If you want to kill someone do it yourself.

***

Tsarevich Illya spent a sleepless night in the Kryptonian palace. He kept thinking about Snow White, about how angry the queen was, about why she would have wanted Snow White killed and about Snow White again. 

When he came out to breakfast the next morning he was told queen Victoria was out of the palace, had in fact left last night. He decided it was his chance to explore and see if he could find out anything about the queen's alleged motives. He walked around the palace, opening doors and looking into towers and cellars, trying to be inconspicuous. It was not very easy for such a big man as the tsarevich was. When he bumped into people he usually said he was looking for the bathroom or the kitchen, so now his head was full of useless directions. 

It was a big palace and after an hour or so of ballrooms, servants' rooms and wine cellars he was starting to doubt there was anything to find at all. He wondered if he should try and talk to the servants instead. That's when he stumbled upon a locked room right next to one of the wine cellars. He used his dagger to pick the lock. He wasn't very good at it though, since he never stole any cookies as a child, so it took him rather a long time. Finally the lock surrendered to Illya's efforts and he opened the door to a small storage room.

It was full of paintings, big ones with golden frames. Illya turned one over and propped it up against a wall to get a better look at it. The painting showed a smiling man in a fir-lined red cloak and a crown on his head. Next to him stood a beautiful dark haired woman in a blue dress and a crown of her own. Between them was a boy of about seven. He was smiling happily with his red lips, his skin pale as snow and his hair black as raven's wing. Illya knew him at once. It was Snow White! Illya picked up other portraits. They all showed either the King, the Queen or their son, or all of them together. They have all been taken off the walls and dumped here. Illya looked at another portrait of the boy, around ten in this one. He wasn't smiling anymore. It was still unmistakably Snow White. But also it was the prince. The apparently drowned prince Napoleon of Krypton!

Illya understood it all now. When the prince came of age he became a threat to Victoria's power and she had ordered him killed. It all made horrible sense in his head now. (Although he didn’t know that this simple reasoning never even occurred to Victoria, who was obsessed with being the fairest of them all.)

Illya left the pictures in the storage room and ran out, adrenaline pumping. He stopped short in the middle of the corridor though, he didn't really know where to run. Victoria was out of the palace and he couldn't confront her. He just stood there thinking for a while until he decided to go talk to Uncle Rudi. That proved impossible however, because Illya found out the man was locked up in the dungeon and no visitors were allowed. By now his meanderings had attracted too much attention so he went back to his quarters and decided to try and sneak into the dungeon when everyone was asleep. 

When night fell Illya put on black clothes and a wool cap to cover his blond head. He sneaked out of his rooms and tried to figure out how to get to the dungeon. It was dark, but he didn't dare take a lantern with him lest he be seen.

He climbed down some stairs and ducked some guards. The dungeon was not far now and he crept closer. Illya finally reached some sturdy looking iron doors and wondered why there were no guards positioned outside them. He decided it was just his luck and pushed the doors open. 

What he saw was definitely not the dungeon. Three men in white lab cloaks were screwing together some iron bars, a fish tank full of electric eels stood nearby, and a bald man was crouched over what looked like an egg, only the size of a piglet. All of them (except for the eels and the egg) froze and then turned their heads to Illya. Maybe he should have fled right away when he realized he wasn't in the dungeon. But Illya was very brave and he was out hunting for secrets after all. And this setting definitely looked like it was going to yield some secrets.

"What is going on here?" he demanded.

"Aren’t you her majesty's visiting prince?" the lead scientist asked in alarm. “What are you doing here?”

"Indeed, I am tsarevich Illya from the Kingdom Beyond the Iron Curtain," Illya said, ignoring the second half of the question. And then he saw a large blueprint spread out on the table right next to him. He peered at it. It showed a box with some elaborate wires and an egg inside it. Nearby was drawn a picture of a dragon breathing out what looked like a huge mushroom of flame and smoke.

"A nuclear dragon!" Illya exclaimed. "I know what this is!” He pointed at the egg. “You are trying to hatch a nuclear dragon!" He advanced menacingly on the chief scientist. "My grandfather died fighting one of these. They are extremely dangerous. You must stop this at once!"

The chief scientist, who was, of course Doctor Udo, shrank back, but he was smiling a maniacal grin.

"I'm afraid you can't stop us now," he said. "You failed to get us a mechanic so we have to build the incubator ourselves. But once it's ready her majesty queen Victoria will have the dragon and will conquer the world. And you can do nothing to stop it!"

"I can destroy all your evil science here!" Illya exclaimed.

"You can come with us instead," said a voice from behind him. Illya turned to see two dozen guards crowded in the doorway.

"I rang a secret panic bell while you stood there listening to me talk about our plan!" Doctor Udo cackled evilly. 

Illya didn't wait for the guards to grab him and lunged at them instead. He hoped his strength aided by the element of surprise would help him push through the guards and run. But there were too many of them, he pushed a few out of the way, hitting one in the jaw and another in the chest, but then a dozen of them jumped him at once and he had no chance, he was just buried under a mass of bodies, choking. And then someone grabbed his collar and slammed his head into the stone floor. Everything went black.

***

Illya's head was killing him. He tried to blink but it felt like even his eyelashes hurt. He whimpered and lay still for a while. It was cold and dark. And after a few minutes of clutching his head and groaning he figured out that he was lying on his back on the floor. And this floor was unmistakably in a cell in the dungeon. But what about the egg? The dragon? The scientists', no, the queen's evil plans? He rolled over and groaned some more, his head still hurt pretty badly.

"Welcome back, tsarevich," came from his right.

Illya looked around. Behind the bars of the next cell sat none other than Uncle Rudi, the man he’d set out to find when he stumbled upon the scientists.

"I heard you found Udo," Uncle Rudi said.

"Is that the bald man?" Illya asked.

Uncle Rudi nodded.

"I found out all about your queen's evil world conquering plans! Oh and!" Illya remembered. "I found out how you tried to kill Snow White! I mean, prince Napoleon!"

"I failed," Uncle Rudi muttered, "and all because of you. You had to appear and destroy all of my plans. And now I'm locked up here and the queen herself has to finish the job."

"What?" Illya demanded. "What do you mean finish the job?"

"I'll tell you if you promise to get me out of here," Uncle Rudi said.

"How am I going to get you out of here, I'm locked up as well as you!"

"I'm sure you'll think of something, big guy."

"All right," Illya said impatiently. "Tell me what the queen is doing and I give you my word I will help you get out."

"She knows prince Napoleon is in a house by the mountains and she went to kill him," Uncle Rudi said promptly.

Illya threw himself at the bars of his cell. "No!" he grunted with impact, but kept at it for another minute until there was no denying the futility of his attempts. 

Uncle Rudi watched with fascination as Illya changed tactics. He grabbed two bars closest to him and started pulling them apart. It was almost humanly impossible, but the tsarevich was very strong and his worry for Snow White and the urgency needed to save him pushed him on. The metal groaned beneath his hands, and the bars gave way. 

Illya took a few seconds to breathe and squeezed through the gap, it was a tight fit. 

"Hey what about me?" cried Uncle Rudi. "You promised!"

Illya hesitated. On the one hand he had promised, but on the other Uncle Rudi was a terrible person, he served the evil queen and he had tried to kill Snow White. But the tsarevich had given his word and a promise is a promise. 

"Wait here," Illya said (Uncle Rudi rolled his eyes at that) and bolted down the corridor past the cells. 

He looked out of the crack between the heavy wooden doors and saw a guard pacing to and fro, a ring of keys on his belt. 

Illya swung the doors open, "Hi!"

The guard had no time to react before Illya slammed him back into the doors and he slumped to the floor, unconscious. Illya grabbed the keys off his belt and sprinted back to Uncle Rudi. He tossed him the keys.

"If I see you're up to no good again," Illya promised, "you'll not get away so easy."

"Right, right," Uncle Rudi murmured, as Illya retraced his steps to the doors. "You're too late anyway, the queen's got a day's head start, your Snow White is dead!"

***

Victoria was indeed one day ahead of Illya. She had taken a horse and went alone, leaving all of her handmaidens and royal guards behind.

She rode all night and came to the mountains the next day. But she didn't go looking for the house right away. She went straight to the mountain ridge to find one specific hiding place - the place where the green mineral, which had killed Napoleon’s mother, was buried. 

Victoria had known the secret location of the Kryptonite for years and now she finally had a use for it. She was of course immune to its deadly effects, not being a native Kryptonian herself.

When Victoria reached the mountains, she tied her horse to a large stone and climbed a short distance to the ledge, which led to a cave. She went inside and removed a flat stone that covered a narrow tunnel. Victoria gathered her skirts and climbed down. 

The small green crystal was glimmering dully, nestled between some grey rocks. Victoria picked up the Kryptonite, hid it in her pocket and climbed back up.

Now that she had her murder weapon Victoria set about to execute her evil plan.

***

Napoleon was pining. There's no other word for it, he was. Well, he was also rolling out dough and chopping up some apples for a pie. But really he was pining.

The mechanics had scolded him for letting tsarevich Illya go, saying he would betray Napoleon to his evil stepmother. But Napoleon just couldn't bring himself to believe that. Illya had seemed so solid and reliable, a decent person and a true knight. He was also so tall and strong and handsome... Napoleon sighed. Then he remembered how Illya had hugged him and blushed. Snow-white skin was really inconvenient sometimes, he was constantly blushing. 

Napoleon may have given some idle thought to taking Krypton's throne from Victoria before, but really that had always felt like an unattainable dream. And the only reason he had thought about it at all was because he wanted to ease the people's suffering. (And he still did, his kind gentle heart cried at what he'd seen in the village.) But now he also started thinking that if he were king, even if he were still a prince and not a fugitive, he could have a tsarevich's hand in marriage. That's of course if Illya wanted him, he didn't want to presume, it's just that he'd been so sweet and he'd promised to come back... Napoleon's blush deepened, coloring his cheeks the same red as the apples he was cutting. 

He was utterly lost in thought and the repetitive motions of cooking, when there came a call from outside.

"Hello, dear! What a lovely day, isn't it?" 

Napoleon looked out of the window. A tall woman was standing outside holding a covered basket. She was dressed in horribly mismatched clothing. A bright green silk skirt, sturdy purple winter boots, an orange sweater with a silver corset over it, her hair was covered with a pink scarf and a pair of huge sunglasses obscured half of her face.

This was of course queen Victoria, who'd never had to use a disguise in her life, so she just picked out some random clothes from her wardrobe and thought that it would do. She was in luck though, because Napoleon was a great believer in matching outfits and often lectured kitchen maids on the styles of their bonnets (in a friendly manner of course). The last person he imagined wearing such a horrible mix of colors and fabrics was his stylish stepmother. So instead of trying to peer through the disguise, Napoleon just thought: "What a poor lady! She has no sense of style whatsoever."

"Good afternoon!" Napoleon came to the window and leaned on the windowsill. 

"Dear boy," Victoria simpered, "would you like to buy some truffles from a poor woman?" She held up her basket and took off the cloth covering it. It was full of truffles. 

"Truffles!" Napoleon exclaimed. He hadn't had a truffle risotto since his birthday. He was terribly excited, "Oh yes! This is great!"

Victoria smiled and tried not to grin too obviously, "Come out here, my dear."

Napoleon spared a moment to wipe flour off his hands and ran out of the house and up to Victoria, who held the basket out to him. 

"May I?" Napoleon asked and she nodded. 

Napoleon put his hand into the basket. He picked up a handful of truffles and opened his palm to admire them. Something cold and green lay in his hand between the truffles. 

"What...?" Napoleon started and then his fingers went numb, he couldn't move his hand. He looked up at Victoria, his blue eyes wide with fear, and was met by a look of triumph.

Then the world started spinning around him. Napoleon doubled over in pain, agony spreading through every cell in his body, it was burning hot and freezing cold at the same time. Someone was laughing loudly. Then the world went black, the pain peaked and he must have screamed. After an age it started to subside, and a cool welcoming ocean spread silky soft around him. He knew no more. 

Victoria admired her handiwork for a moment.

Napoleon was lying on his side in the grass, his open palm extended, the truffles and the Kryptonite had rolled out and were lying on the grass by his fingers.

It was time for her to go, the owners of the house could be back any time. She left the Kryptonite where it lay. Let it kill Napoleon's friends too. She laughed and retreated into the forest, where she had left her horse.

So she didn't see Piglet come out of the barn, attracted by the smell of truffles. It ran up to its master and gobbled up all the delicacies spread out on the ground, making no difference between the truffles and the Kryptonite.

***

Chop Shop Girl was the first to see Napoleon. She screamed and ran up to his body spread out on the ground, his right arm extended, his empty palm open. The other mechanics followed after her, dropping down around Napoleon's motionless form. They turned him over, shook him and checked for life signs. There were none. 

He lay in their arms, skin white as snow, hair black as night and lips red as blood. His big blue eyes were closed. He looked peaceful as if he were simply asleep. And beside sat Piglet, sad and confused about what was wrong with its master, but alive and well. The Kryptonite, you see, was only dangerous to humans, and it had now been digested by the pig and no longer dangerous to anyone. But its evil had been done.

The mechanics wept. The queen must have gotten to their Snow White while they were at work, though they could see no clues as to what had actually happened. Her evil stole Napoleon away from them so young, so beautiful, so kind and gentle, so full of life and hope. 

They rocked his body in their arms for a long time, they cried and cursed the queen. 

Later Waverly said they should take Snow White into the house. They brought him in and lay him on his bed. Inside they saw the pie he had been making and cried even harder. 

That night the mechanics sat vigil around their dear Snow White, who lay so quiet and so still on his bed.

***

Illya managed to sneak out of the dungeon without being seen by any more guards. He went straight for the stables and felt bad for hitting the stable boy who tried to stop him from getting to his horse. He made sure the boy was only unconscious and lay him down in the hay as comfortably as he could. 

Illya was out of the stables and on his way to the forest in minutes, but he couldn't help thinking of the head start the queen had on him. Illya cursed his own stupidity, he should have realized at once that her absence from the palace meant she was after Snow White. Illya was riding as fast as his horse could go, which wasn't very fast once they were in the middle of the forest. And every second was like torture when he knew Snow White was in danger.

It was early afternoon the next day when he finally reached the clearing where the mechanics' house stood. It was quiet and the windows were shut. 

He half expected Snow White to rise from the vegetable patch to greet him, but the garden was empty. 

Illya dismounted. The desperate urgency that carried him here now gave way to a kind of heavy suspense. He walked slowly to the house and knocked on the door. He waited. 

Finally he heard footsteps from inside the house and then the door opened. It was one of the mechanics - Waverly, Illya remembered from before. The man was pale and haggard, his eyes red.

Waverly and Illya both froze at the sight of one another. 

"Snow White..." Illya said and didn't know how to continue. Waverly's wretched appearance scared him.

Waverly didn't answer, instead he brought his hand up to cover his face, his shoulders shook.

"Who is it?" came a female voice from inside. And then Chop Shop Girl appeared in the doorway. 

"You!" she cried as she saw Illya. "You, you!" She pushed past Waverly and shoved Illya in the chest, she was tiny compared to him but she advanced like a furious hurricane. "You told the queen about him! You went back to her and you told her everything!" 

"No!" Illya protested. "I never said a word, about Snow White or any of you."

"I don't believe you!" her screams attracted the other mechanics, who now stood watching, some equally angry, some rubbing their eyes. "You told the queen and now he's dead!"

Illya went cold. He was too late. 

"I wouldn't betray him, I love him. And I failed to save him." He sank to his knees and wept. 

Fresh tears ran down the mechanics' faces, they believed Illya now. And it just made everything even more tragic. Their lovely prince and this foreign Tsarevich Charming. This chance for young love cut down before it could even be confessed. They all hugged each other and wept.

"Please, can I see him?" Illya begged. 

But instead of taking him to a grave, the mechanics led Illya to the mountains. The next day after they found Napoleon, the mechanics wanted to bury their dear prince. But he looked so peaceful, so beautiful, so still as if in a deep sleep, they had not the heart to do it. They put their technical minds together and used their skills to build a glass capsule to preserve his beauty forever.

That was yesterday and today they brought tsarevich Illya to the cave, where the capsule stood. They all held back and let Illya walk up to it alone. Through tear filled eyes he saw a large vaguely triangular glass shape with a large 'S' engraved on top. Illya steeled his heart and looked inside. 

Through the clear glass he saw Snow White lying there on a bed of white silk and the sight of him took Illya's breath away. His skin pale as snow, his hair black as ink, his lips red as blood. The mechanics had dressed him in the blue shirt and red cape that he wore when he first came to them. 

Illya laid his hands on the glass as if he could penetrate it and touch his beloved, as if he could warm him with his touch and make him alive again. 

Waverly came up quietly to the panel on the side of the capsule, it was moving and creating different shapes out of tiny metal grains. It stilled in recognition as Waverly put his hand on it and made him a button, which he pressed.

The capsule's top parted on the 'S' and the glass receded into the panels in the ground. Illya sank to his knees beside the bed Napoleon's body was laid out on.

"Snow White... Napoleon…" He murmured and extended a trembling hand towards him. For a moment Illya couldn't bring himself to touch him, then slowly he brushed his fingers across Napoleon's cheek. Tears ran freely from his eyes as he caressed the side of Napoleon’s face. "Forgive me. I couldn't save you, my love."

Illya bent down over the motionless prince and laid a gentle kiss on his lips. It was like birdsong and sunshine and a taste of strawberries, it was like magic and a sea breeze and the clearest water. Overwhelmed Illya laid his head down on Napoleon's shoulder and closed his eyes. 

Gentle fingers ran through Illya's hair. He started and raised his head. Smiling blue eyes met his. 

A miracle! Illya gasped and gripped Napoleon's hands. "You're alive!" He pulled Napoleon up and into his arms. "You were dead, oh say something please, oh Snow White!" Illya held him close and couldn't stop running his hands along his back and through his hair.

"I'm here, I'm here," Napoleon murmured. He was disoriented and wasn't completely sure what was happening, but he held on to Illya. To be honest the only place Napoleon wanted to be right then was inside the circle of Illya’s arms. 

“You didn’t tell me you were prince Napoleon,” Illya said into his hair, as he was still not letting go of his beloved.

“I’m sorry,” Napoleon replied. “I was scared to let anyone know.”

The mechanics' gasps and loud voices finally penetrated their bubble. Still clinging to each other they turned to the mechanics, who now gathered around them. A flood of questions poured at them, and then overcoming their initial awe the mechanics started hugging both Napoleon and Illya, alternately cheering and crying.

"Dear Snow White! You're alive!"

"What happened? How can you be alive?"

"Tsarevich! What did you do?"

Illya and Napoleon both blushed and looked at each other.

"I think," Illya said. "It must be, you know... We have stories in my land..."

"And here too..." Napoleon added. 

They shared another look. "A kiss of true love," they said together.

The mechanics aaw'd and cheered, making the young princes blush even more.

"It's just," Napoleon whispered to Illya, "I wasn't really awake for it. Do you think we could do it again?"

This time they both moved as one to bring their lips together.

***

On their way back to the house Napoleon told them what had happened to him: how he was poisoned by the mystical Kryptonite that had killed his mother and that it must have been Victoria in disguise who did it to him. He told them that she hid the Kryptonite in a basket of his favorite truffles. 

When they said they found no truffles or Kryptonite by his body, but did find Piglet, they all realized that Piglet had in fact saved them all by eating both the truffles and the crystal. 

“It’s because of that brave hungry pig that we weren’t exposed to the Kryptonite at all,” said Waverly. “And your exposure, Snow White, was much shorter than your mother’s. Maybe that’s why you had any fighting chance in the first place.”

When they got to the house Napoleon hugged Piglet and gave him his favorite treats.

Then they all gathered at the kitchen table to decide what to do next.

"I think we should fight queen Victoria and stop her evil," Napoleon said, "I've been idle long enough, it's time I take back the throne of my parents and bring stability and prosperity back to Krypton."

"I will help you!" Illya vowed.

"And we will too!" The mechanics cried.

"Thank you, my dear friends," Napoleon said. "Now we need a plan."

"Oh!" Illya exclaimed. "With all this I almost forgot! Queen Victoria has an egg of a nuclear dragon! I found it and they put me in the dungeon for it, but I ran away."

This news alarmed them all, but it just proved once again that Victoria had to be stopped. They needed a battle strategy. 

***

Victoria returned to the palace in high spirits. Napoleon was dead, she was the fairest again and all was right with the world. Then of course she found out that tsarevich Illya discovered the nuclear dragon egg, was imprisoned, ran away and was now hell knows where. Most likely halfway to his father's kingdom to bring the Tsar's army against Krypton. (Although that really never even occurred to Illya.)

Oh and Uncle Rudi tried to escape but was caught by the guards on his way out of the dungeon. Sensibly he chose to continue to serve Victoria in this dangerous time over being hanged by the neck from the main gate. 

Victoria called red alert and started gathering her troops, drafting villagers and gathering supplies immediately. 

It was all this chaos that allowed nine people to slip onto the palace grounds unnoticed.

Napoleon, Illya and the mechanics sneaked into a tool shed and huddled close together. 

"We should split up," Napoleon said. "Illya, take Waverly, Beckham and Sexy Hotel Girl and go get the egg. Chop Shop Girl, Agent Jones, Captain Smith, Contessa and I will grab Victoria. It will be a citizen's arrest, we'll bring her before court and I will present my claim to the throne."

"I wish I could go with you," Illya said.

But this was the best plan they had. Illya would take half of them to where the scientists were working on hatching the dragon egg and Napoleon would take the rest along a hidden corridor to the queen's chambers. 

"Good luck," Napoleon kissed Illya briefly. It was really hard to pull away. Each lingered for a moment and then the teams set off.

Napoleon led his team quickly and quietly towards the secret passage to the queen's chambers. They dodged a few soldiers, a blacksmith arguing prices for swords and a couple of harried servants. And finally they were at the entrance to the passage.

"There might be some guards, so start alert, but most of them are in the main corridors, she's not expecting anyone to come this way," Napoleon said.

They crept along the passage as silently as they could and according to Napoleon were already close when they heard footsteps behind them. Someone must have entered the passage after them! They sped up, they needed to get to the queen's rooms before whoever it was behind them. Finally a door! Napoleon pushed it open and they all spilled into Victoria's study. There she stood peering at a map with Uncle Rudi at her side. And about a dozen guards, who advanced on the intruders immediately. 

Victoria turned around at the commotion and screamed. "You! How many times can I kill you?!"

"We're here to bring you before court for all your crimes against Krypton," Napoleon said proudly, despite the fact that he and his friends were clearly outnumbered. 

And then another group of people entered from the secret passage. It was the scientists accompanied by a few more guards. The scientists were pushing heavy carts with equipment, including the egg of the nuclear dragon, nestled in a weird looking metal contraption with wires.

"Take these four to the dungeons," the queen yelled angrily indicating the mechanics. "Their skills might be useful later. Leave the prince here, he will not escape death this time."

The mechanics struggled but the guards were too many and they were dragged away. 

Napoleon was tied down to a sturdy looking metal chair the scientists had brought with them and couldn't help but be a little scared. He wondered what Victoria was planning for him now. She would hardly tolerate failing to kill him for a third time. He also wondered what had happened to Illya. His team was supposed to get the scientists and the dragon egg, but they had clearly failed. 

"Well, prince Snow White," Victoria was suddenly upon him, each hand on one of his tied down arms. "Don't know how you managed to survive the Kryptonite. But this room is the last place you'll ever see." She turned away towards the scientists. "Set up the incubator, hatch the egg! And use the prince instead of that homeless guy we picked up last night. Uncle Rudi, go assist them. So fortunate I decided to move the whole experiment here. I'll be next door."

The scientists quickly set up the device that held the dragon egg, screwed in some metal poles, glass panels and wires and brought out a fish tank full of crackling electric eels.

"Stop this, please!" Napoleon pleaded. "A nuclear dragon could destroy the world. My father died fighting one of them! How can you not see what you're doing?" He tried to break free but to no avail.

The scientists paid him absolutely no attention, but Uncle Rudi approached with a bunch of wires and started screwing them to the metal chair around Napoleon's wrists. 

"What are you doing?" Napoleon demanded.

"You'll help us hatch the egg, your highness," Uncle Rudi mock bowed. "The nuclear baby just needs some human warmth, you see. It's going to be so sweet when you help it hatch."

Napoleon struggled in earnest but the bonds held him tight. Uncle Rudi's wires now ran over his ankles and abdomen too.

"We're all set," Doctor Udo said after checking the container with the egg. He held some wires running from the container and gave them to Uncle Rudi, who already held the wires running from Napoleon's chair in his hands. Uncle Rudi came up to the tank with the electric eels. "Call the queen."

Napoleon pulled on the ropes and wires, as one of the guards went to fetch Victoria. "You won't get away with this!" he cried and thought that at least he'd gotten to kiss Illya before he died. 

Victoria appeared from the next room, impeccable in her black and white gown, a crown on her golden head. 

"Only the chosen few should witness this!" she said magnanimously. "Doctor Udo and Uncle Rudi, stay here. Everyone else, leave us!"

She leaned in and kissed Napoleon's cheek. "Goodbye, Napoleon," she said and went over to look at the dragon egg.

"The world will be mine, the fairest and most powerful queen in the world. Begin!"

Uncle Rudi cackled and dropped the wires into the eel tank. An electric charge went through them. It powered the container with the egg and then it reached Napoleon's chair. 

Wave after wave of intense electricity went through his body. Napoleon struggled not to scream. 

"It's working, it's working!" Victoria cried.

Through the dark haze of pain Napoleon could barely see the incubator start shaking.

A door to the chamber suddenly flew open, letting in a thunderstorm contained inside a very tall very angry tsarevich, flanked by Chop Shop Girl and Waverly. 

"What now?!" Victoria sprang in front of the incubator. "I won't let you destroy my work!"

Doctor Udo and Uncle Rudi, however, seemed pretty happy to let the intruders destroy their work, because instead of protecting it they shrank back behind a heavy desk in the corner. 

Illya took in the situation in an instant and brought his sword down onto the fish tank. Water, glass and electric eels spilled in every direction. 

"Don't let them escape!" Illya ordered Chop Shop Girl and Waverly. He ran up to Napoleon and quickly freed him from the chair. Napoleon was shaking and it felt like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest. He'd never been so glad to see Illya.

Illya held him close for a moment, "It's all over now, no one will hurt you." 

"I thought they'd caught you," Napoleon murmured into Illya's neck. "Thank you for saving me. Again."

"You are very welcome," Illya pulled Napoleon to his feet and they surveyed the state of the room. 

It was barely contained chaos. Chop Shop Girl held Victoria with a dagger to her throat and Waverly stood over Uncle Rudi and Doctor Udo who were still crouched behind the desk. But the incubator kept shaking stronger and stronger, while the eels were jumping on the floor crackling with electric charges. 

"You'll be brought to justice," Illya said to Victoria, "for trying to kill the rightful heir to the throne as soon as he came of age to ascend to it!"

"What?" Victoria bit back. "I tried to kill him because my mirror said he's become fairer than me!"

Both Illya and Napoleon looked at her in bewilderment.

"Um..." Doctor Udo remarked from the floor. "This isn't supposed to be happening. I think I must have built the incubator all wrong, I think the egg is going to blow."

"No! This egg is going to hatch!" Victoria screamed and twisted out of Chop Shop Girl's grip. "Doctor Udo, do something!"

At that moment the incubator cracked and sent more shards of glass flying. 

Victoria grabbed the egg and screamed. Her hands turned red, green and then translucent with the egg’s radioactive energy and she shook violently.

"Run!" Waverly cried. "We can't do anything here!"

"But we can't just..." Napoleon started towards the queen.

"It's too late to save her!" Waverly yelled over Victoria's screams and the sounds of the whole room shaking. "Run!"

Illya dragged the limping Napoleon out of the collapsing room.

Uncle Rudi and Doctor Udo attempted to follow them, but their desk chose that moment to collapse on top of them.

Napoleon looked back to see the wall crumple, sealing the entrance to the queen's chambers.

Napoleon, Illya, Chop Shop Girl and Waverly ran as fast as they could towards the main gate out of the palace. The whole building was shaking now. "What about everyone else in the palace?" Napoleon cried urgently.

"The others have led them all out. We expected something like this!" Illya replied breathlessly as they ran, dodging debris.

They sprinted along the winding corridors, past the throne room and there, the main gate was finally in sight. They ran towards it. A deafening boom sounded from what seemed like everywhere at once. But they were already out of the gate, in front of them was the palace moat.

"Jump!" someone yelled and all four of them hit the water of the moat, trapping them between fire and darkness.

***

Illya opened his eyes to a blue sky and cringed in pain that shot through his head. 

"Shh, take it slow," Napoleon's voice said softly above him. When Illya could finally open his eyes again without being sick he found his Snow White brushing back his hair and smiling down at him. 

"What happened?" Illya croaked. He was lying in Napoleon's lap somewhere outside the palace. The palace? Had it been destroyed? He bolted upright to see for himself and grabbed his head that seemed about to explode.

"Take it easy, Illya," Napoleon steadied him. "It's all right, we're all fine. Well apart from Victoria, Doctor Udo and Uncle Rudi."

"What happened after we jumped into the water?" Illya asked.

"The palace blew up. Thankfully the mechanics had by that time evacuated everyone," Napoleon explained. 

In fact after Illya and his team came to the lab and found it empty, they decided to scout the palace for clues as to where the egg could have been moved. That's when they ran into the guards taking Chop Shop Girl, Agent Jones, Contessa and Captain Smith to the dungeon. They had the element of surprise and freed the mechanics, who explained that the evil queen was about to try and hatch the egg and that the device she was using looked dangerous and unstable and that she had strapped Napoleon to it. Illya took Waverly and Chop Shop Girl and ran to the queen's chambers, while the rest of the mechanics set out to evacuate the palace.

"Then when we jumped into the moat you hit your head on an underwater stone.” Napoleon was saying. “I pulled you out. You were out cold for a few hours. We're in a makeshift camp in the village now. It's to house everyone from the palace until we can rebuild. And thankfully the destructive power of a nuclear dragon’s egg is much less than that of a fully grown nuclear dragon, otherwise there wouldn’t have been a village for us to go to," Napoleon finished. 

"Thank you for saving me," Illya said seriously.

"You are very welcome," Napoleon replied. 

"Um, prince Napoleon," Illya suddenly said formally. "Now that the danger is over..." he trailed off nervously. Napoleon raised a questioning eyebrow. "Will you marry me?" Illya finished.

"Oh, I..." Napoleon blushed a lovely bright pink. "It's just so sudden... I mean yes! Yes, I will!" He grinned happily. "I will!"

Illya let out a huge sigh of relief, gathered Napoleon into his arms and proceeded to kiss him soundly.

***

When the palace exploded and everyone arrived at the village, Napoleon revealed himself to the people. They had loved his mother and father and hailed him happily as the new king. He vowed to end corruption and bring justice and prosperity back to Krypton. The people cheered.

In the following weeks works on the new palace started. The mechanics took up posts at court and coordinated the rebuilding. Meanwhile a nice little house was built for the king to live in. Tsarevich Illya of course stayed with him. 

Illya and Napoleon decided not to wait for the new palace to be completed to get married. They actually wanted to do it straight away, but set the date to next month to allow Illya's parents to get to Krypton (Illya wrote them a letter and invited them straight away). Despite the lack of a palace the wedding had to be pretty big, since it would be a state affair that would unite Krypton and the Kingdom Beyond the Iron Curtain.

Meanwhile Napoleon was learning how to be a good and just ruler and Krypton was slowly getting back to its feet after years of Victoria's reckless reign. 

The Tsar and Tsarina finally arrived in a golden three-horse carriage (they came as quickly as they could, once they learned the happy news) and ran to hug their son and Napoleon.

"We were so worried about both of you when we read about all your adventures in Illyusha's letter!" the Tsar said in the same accented voice as his son. "Well done, son! You have performed your character-building quest very admirably. Here is my watch, wear it with pride!" And the Tsar gave Illya his wristwatch that had been in the family for generations. Illya was very pleased at such praise.

"Poor dear Napoleon," the Tsarina said, stroking his black hair. "Your family taken away from you when you were so young. But now you have a family once again."

Napoleon couldn't be happier. The wicked queen who had tormented him and tried to kill him was now dead by her own evil device, the kingdom she had ruined was on its way to prosperity and was in fact joining with another kingdom. But most importantly Napoleon was in love and he was loved in return. 

When the big day finally arrived, the mechanics, the Tsar and Tsarina, the servants from the palace, the villagers and many many other guests all gathered in a vast field with many beautiful flowers. Musicians were playing and a feast was ready nearby with enough truffle risotto for everyone.

Napoleon and Illya, both dressed in white and gold, walked through the crowds to stand before the kingdom's head judge Luigi. They stood side by side and held each other's hands tightly. 

The people threw flowers and waved, the mechanics cheered and the Tsarina was wiping happy tears with her silk handkerchief. 

Illya and Napoleon looked at each other. Now they would never be parted.

"Do you, King Napoleon Snow White take Tsarevich Illya to be your husband in sickness and in health until death parts you?" asked Judge Luigi.

"I do," said Napoleon.

"Do you, Tsarevich Illya take King Napoleon Snow White to be your husband in sickness and in health until death parts you?"

"I do," said Illya.

"In the presence of these witnesses and under the laws of your kingdoms I now pronounce you married!" Judge Luigi said and the crowds cheered. "Now seal it with a kiss!"

"I love you, my Snow White," Illya said happily.

"I love you too, my Tsarevich Charming," Napoleon said smiling.

And then they sealed their union with a kiss.


End file.
